Ann Berrybush

This New Voice Of Reason

Ann is one of those teachers who will do anything to strip the veil of ignorance from her students' minds — even if it means getting stripped of her bodily veils in the process. So dedicated is she to her noble calling, that the prim and proper teacher will endure the most outlandish pranks as she marches her students toward enlightenment. She is always standing up for reason — even when there happens to be glue on her chair. Ann loves rules. In fact, she is one of the few cases where the malapropism “flaunting the rules” actually applies. Exuberantly organized — all the way down to her color-coordinated underwear — she keeps expanding the domain of classroom rules, until she is micro-managing her students' lives. Naturally, the children rebel against such strictures, setting the stage for a titanic battle of reason vs. chaos, during which the rule of law — “the fabric that holds society together” — is put to the test. Not to mention the fabric that lifts and sculpts Ann's sumptuous figure. In her defense, it must be said that Ann's penchant for rules is only a means to an end, a way of disciplining the minds of her students so that rigorous thought can flourish there. Moreover, she is always in search of new ways to cultivate her students' minds. Even when sneaking home from school in her underwear, having lost control of both her class and her clothing, she wracks her brain for a way to transform her misfortunes into a teaching tool. “Perhaps when wrapped in spectacle, my message of pure reason can penetrate my students' minds like never before,” she muses as she hides behind a bush, unaware that the bright white satin of her bra and girdle is clearly visible through the branches. She could be on the verge of a pedagogical breakthrough, yet Ann worries that her wardrobe won't hold out much longer, for instead of imparting knowledge to her students, she is being parted from her skirts and blouses by them, at a rate faster than these articles of clothing can be replenished, given the limits of her teacher's salary